Life of a Salesman
by IsabellaDangelo
Summary: Cullen Family Fluff! When a mysterious old man comes to the Cullen family door offering a mysterious bottle, will the Cullens know what to do? AU, post-Eclipse. Vampires, then human, then vampires.
1. Chapter 1

Life of a Salesman

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns all. I'm just playing with them.

**Summary:** Cullen Family Fluff! When a mysterious old man comes to the Cullen family door offering a strange bottle, will the Cullen's know what to do? AU, vampires, then human, then vampires, then…well, you get the idea.

**Author's Note:** I…umm…yeah. Needed some fluff. This should get very very fluffy.

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There was a knock on the door. That within itself was strange. Esme and Carlisle had both told Jacob a long time ago to not even bother with knocking, to just come in. Of course, that assumed that he was not with their daughter, son, or grandchild as well on the doorstep. Or that it was Jacob and not another one of the wolves.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow and wondered if it was nothing more than the mail man or some poor delivery man again. Any one of his children or even his wife might have ordered something without informing him of the objects impending arrival. Although, that did also seem odd since the kids were normally so excited to have even the smallest trinket come to the house to amuse them. There was also the very simple fact this oldest son needed to be warned prior to any humans coming to the house. It was just a safety measure.

Standing to answer the door in a quick but human fashion, Carlisle placed his latest medical journal upon Esme's end table and went to the front door. He could barely detect the smell other than it most likely was a human. Upon opening the door, Carlisle became even more confused because there, upon his door step, was a strange looking fellow.

The man was old and crinkled to the point he looked more caricature than human. His big nearly toothless grin upon Carlisle's opening of the door was sure to make any human being take a step back. For Carlisle, it only made him more confused. The man was wearing dirty old rags for clothing that had various things pinned to it. The vestments reminded Carlisle of the beggers from his era, complete with the ragged old hat upon his head.

"May I help you?" Carlisle asked, unsure if the man with a cane upon his doorstep needed medical attention. Based upon the nearly toothless grin and the crooked back, most of his problems couldn't be helped any longer. The most Carlisle could do is help to prevent any further deterioration and, perhaps, prescribe some pain medication. Based on the knots upon the old man's knees and back, a lot of pain medication was in order.

"No, no help be needing by Old Man Godelot. Old Man Godelot be bringing help to you and your lot," the man stated, grinning all the while. His diseased gums would turn the stomach of any human but it only made Carlisle feel sorry for the old man.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Carlisle stated, his brow furrowing as he tried to figure out what this man was after. Humans normally shied away from vampires instinctively unless this man was like his as his youngest daughter, Bella, had been when she was human and didn't have the necessary fear responders.

"An antidote be what Old Man Godelot be peddling," the man said as he slipped his hand into a pocket inside his tattered old coat. This made Carlisle nervous. The tall blond doctor didn't like the idea of someone selling drugs of any kind to anyone. He had seen enough examples of what drug abuse can do to a human's system over the years and had put many humans in the morgue when he couldn't save them. That drug laced with another, a bit of tonic –as it was called in the 19th century- that turned out to have dangerous levels of lead or something else, even the most seemingly harmless of medications –like cough syrup- could cause death if used incorrectly. Carlisle had seen it all and he wanted to prevent unnatural death like that as much a possible.

"If you are selling drugs or tonics of any kind," Carlisle began to say forcefully but kindly. The old man laughed and slapped his knee, finding the tall, handsome, vampire quite funny.

"You thinking that Old Man Godelot be trying to pull one over on you? Trying to trick you?" the man laughed. Taken back, Carlisle just looked at the clearly crazy individual. Perhaps a quick call to Charlie would be the direction to get this old man the help he clearly needed.

Grinning again, showing off those few teeth he had left, the old man pulled out a small bottle from his pocket. The bottle was lovely to behold! It was clearly crystal and very old. Carlisle wasn't sure where the old man had gotten a perfume bottle that exquisite from but he had to admit he doubted it was by legal means.

"This here will make your daughter's hair nice and long, given back to the other one all she thought was lost," the old man started. Carlisle's mouth twitched into a smile as he realized the type of tonic it most likely was. Nothing more than old-fashioned snake oil the likes of what hasn't been sold since the dawn of the 20th century. Harmless, for the most part, but certainly not a cure for anything.

"How much?" Carlisle asked. He wasn't interested in the snake oil at all, but only interested in helping this old man. If a few dollars would help him and the man felt he got a fair trade then what was one more pretty bottle upon Esme's vanity? Perhaps she'd even find a nice place upon one of the shelves for such a lovely bottle.

The old man's eyes glistened at the prospect of a sale. "Hard stuff to come by. Not much of it left," the old man said, scratching at his chin. Before Carlisle could offer up what he thought would be a fair price for the bottle, the old man jutted his cane out at Carlisle. "$100," he stated. The look on the mans face stated he was expecting some bargaining, but, considering that Carlisle was sure the bottle was worth twice that –thank goodness to paying some attention on those antiquing trips with his wife!- he gladly agreed. The old man would be able to get some new clothing and some help for at least a few days with that amount of cash, Carlisle hoped.

Taking the cash out of his wallet, Carlisle offered it to the man. "Would you like," Carlisle started as he felt the hundred dollar bill disappear from his hand. Looking up, the man, even his smell, was gone. This caused Carlisle to be very alarmed. Humans do not simply disappear. Vampires can, on occasion, move too quickly to be noticed, but humans are far too slow. Even the man's smell was gone, leaving only the pretty bottle on the doorstep with a simple tag stating "Drink Me". Alice, Carlisle's oldest daughter, would love that. Maybe the bottle would look better with her make up things?

Bewildered by the sudden disappearance of the man, Carlisle picked up the small crystal perfume bottle and brought it inside. Esme drew in by his side, smiling. "Who was that dear?" she asked sweetly before giving her husband a peck upon the cheek. Automatically, Carlisle's left arm went to encircle her waist.

"He said his name was Godelot," Carlisle stated absent mindedly. He was thinking on the strange disappearing act.

"Godelot? Like Launcelot's long lost brother?" Emmett asked, smiling as he played his video games. Rosalie rolled her eyes at her husband but walked in the direction of her parents to see what new shiny trinket her father had in his hand close up. Alice, rather than her giggling self, slowly came down the stairs and looked curiously at the bottle in her father's right hand. Jasper, her husband, wasn't too far behind her.

"What is it?" Rosalie asked. "Some sort of perfume?" she continued until she saw the note attached. "Drink me?" she said in disgust.

"It's just a pretty jar filled with snake oil, Rosalie," Carlisle told her gently before placing it on the end table. Emmett paused his game and bounded over to see what all the hubbub over some small little jar was about. He laughed when he saw the note and grinned at little Alice.

"Dare you to drink it, Alice," Emmett stated, thinking on Alice's favorite story. There were several bottles in that story labeled drink me. "Maybe it really will make you taller, half pint!" he teased. Alice stuck her tongue out at her baby brother –who just happened to be a good couple of feet taller than her! Well, almost. She was almost 5 feet in heels whereas both her husband and her baby brother were well over six feet.

"I wouldn't drink that vile stuff," Alice stated as she took the pretty blue topper off. "It smells awful!" Not to mention she'd simply have to throw it back up later.

"Double dare you," Emmett told her, willing to take on the challenge of getting his sister to drink something that was meant for human consumption, he guessed.

"Emmett," Carlisle warned. The two innocent looking pairs of golden eyes looked up at their father. Emmett just really wanted some form of competition against his tiny sister. Alice realized she could add a bet or three in and get what she wanted out of Emmett. It would be a fair price for drinking something so gross!

"What?" Emmett asked. Carlisle was going to point out that none of them even knew what it was but what was the point when all your children were immortal? They could drink a whole host of poisons and nothing would come of it other than a bad taste in their mouths and the need to regurgitate it later. It certainly wasn't the end of the world. Carlisle just shook his head and smiled. Let his children play their game.

"If I drink this," Alice stated, her eyes narrowing slightly as she looked at her brother. Emmett's eyes were filled with excitement at the prospect of a challenge. "Then you," Alice continued, jabbing her index finger at her brother, "Aren't allowed any predators for two months and you will let me take you shopping."

Emmett's own eyes narrowed. He could go with only deer and elk for the next couple of months –that was easy enough- but going shopping with his sister? That sounded like torture. "You have to take a good gulp of it if you want me to go shopping," he stated.

Alice nodded. "Deal!" she said, holding out her pinkie. Emmett took it with his pinkie and shook. "Deal," he agreed.

Alice's victory was short lived when she looked at the stuff. She scrunched up her nose in disgust. Jasper came up behind his wife and whispered in her ear. "You don't have to, darlin'," he told her. Alice shook her head. Yes, she had to. Emmett was in desperate need of new clothes and she needed help with buying presents for Edward's birthday. Although Alice could take Jasper, Edward would suspect that and pry it from her husband's thoughts. With Emmett, at least there was the hope that he just wouldn't think on it, at all. He'd push any memory of shopping far far away.

Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett looked on as little Alice picked up the crystal bottle. Carlisle and Esme had retreated to the kitchen to prepare an evening meal for their grandchild and any accompany wolves. Bella, Edward, Renesmee, and Jacob should be over with Seth possibly in about a half hour.

Alice held the bottle in both of her tiny hands. She held her breath before getting enough determination to take a swig of the vile stuff. When she made what could only be described as a "Mr. Yuck" face, Rosalie laughed while even Jasper had to chuckle. Emmett just grinned.

"Aw, come on, sis! It couldn't be that bad," Emmett teased. Given that Alice didn't respond right away with a quick glare, and that Jasper was suddenly enveloping her in his arms, Emmett knew something was very wrong. Rosalie's medical training kicked in and she glared at her confused husband as Alice's eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"Carlisle!" Rose shouted a bit too loudly as she tried to figure out how one exactly takes vital signs for a vampire. There wasn't a pulse or a temperature gauge that would help.

Their father came running in to see his eldest son lowering Alice to the floor, Jasper's arms still wrapped around her. Alice began to convulse, something that shocked even Carlisle as he kneeled next to his tiny daughter. Jasper's worried eyes met Carlisle's. "Get her upstairs!" Carlisle ordered. The military instincts of Jasper kicked in. Carlisle was someone of higher rank giving him a directive. Jasper had no choice in his mind but to obey.

Kicking open the door to his office, Carlisle whipped out everything he could think off as quickly as he could. He had been buying up medical supplies for his youngest daughter and the impending change of her from human to vampire. He was only thankful he had such things now for his smallest daughter.

Alice's body convulsed as Jasper laid her carefully upon the hospital bed in the library turned clinic room. He couldn't help it, his worry and anxiety rolled off him in waves, making it hard for Carlisle to work. Looking up at his son, he made a silent plea for Jasper to try and control his ability. Carlisle needed to figure out what was happening to his daughter. He had heard the exchange and guessed she had drunk some of the substance in the crystal bottle but what could possibly make a vampire, even a small one like Alice, actually physically ill?

Getting out a tube to pump the contents out of Alice's stomach manually, Carlisle and Jasper both heard a sound. It wasn't a sound that either had heard before from the small black haired woman. It was a thumping sound, from inside her. Since it happened only once, Carlisle continued to set up the machine as quickly as he could. "Hold her down," Carlisle instructed his son. Just as Carlisle was looking down Alice's throat, both men heard the sound again…and again. It was Alice's heart…and it was beating.

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**Author's Note:** This is so totally going to be a fluff story.


	2. Chapter 2

Life of a Salesman

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns all. I'm just playing with them.

**Summary:** Cullen Family Fluff! When a mysterious old man comes to the Cullen family door offering a strange bottle, will the Cullen's know what to do? AU, vampires, then human, then vampires, then…well, you get the idea.

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the break! I'm working on three (and a half!) stories at once so umm…yeah. Sorry.

* * *

Alice would alternate between shivering and sweating. That within itself was odd. vampires didn't sweat. They also didn't have heartbeats. Her pretty china doll pale face began to flush. With that flush, a hint of rose upon her cheeks, came the smell.

Jasper stopped breathing an hour ago. He wasn't about to leave his wife, no matter what. Alice had been in and out of consciousness, if anyone could even call it that, for most of the past two days. As much as the rest of the vampires in the house wanted to deny it, Alice was turning human again and, to Jasper particularly, she smelled sweet. Very sweet. So he stopped breathing. Nothing was more important in Jasper's mind than Alice. If Edward managed to be around Bella each day, then Jasper could be around his Alice. Of course, Edward hadn't been living off of human blood for a century, fighting and killing. Still, Jasper couldn't think of anything that even came close to being as important to him as Alice was. Perhaps the rest of his family but that was it. Human blood that came from the ones he loved so much wasn't something he wanted. Not any more.

Rosalie was downstairs arguing with her father. Carlisle hid the bottle quickly the second he realized what it did. They still weren't sure of all the side effects. Was Alice really turning human or was there something else, something they couldn't fully explain, going on?

"Why aren't you telling me where it is Carlisle?" Rosalie demanded. She was furious. Once again, her family was hurting her. The one thing she wanted more than anything else –to be human- was within Carlisle's power to give back to her and he refused.

"Rosalie, I've already explained. If Alice shows no adverse side effects," Carlisle began slowly, wishing to explain to his daughter how precious she was to him. How each of his children were precious to him. To see his little Alice upstairs so sick was hard for him to take. It was even worse than watching his children go through the change because there was no set timeline. He didn't know if Alice would ever wake up or if it would last only another day. There was no reference for something like this.

"Adverse side effects!" Rosalie scoffed. "She has a beating heart, Carlisle! She's human again," Rose told her father. Couldn't he see it for himself? He was a doctor for crying out loud! Alice may not be conscious –yet- but she was sweating. Her skin was already softer and didn't have the prism cellular shape that vampires had. Edward had placed water to her lips last night and only half conscious, if that, Alice gulped it down greedily. She wasn't a vampire anymore. She could have a child, if she wanted. Her hair could grow. She could change.

"She isn't awake yet, Rose. Until she is awake and I'm able to do a through physical, I do not wish for another one of my children to fall victim to this," Carlisle told her. Rosalie glared, scoffed, threw her hair over her shoulder and stormed out of the room. Emmett was right behind her. He had to calm his wife right now and then he'd go apologize to his sister, again. He'd been in Alice's room five times now, begging her to wake up and apologizing to Jasper. It took everything in Jasper to remember that they had no idea what that substance would do.

Carlisle slumped into the armchair in the living room. His wife, Esme, was quick to his side, placing a supporting hand on his shoulder. Carlisle covered her hand with his own, looking up at his pretty caramel haired beauty. "It's only that it gives her hope," Esme whispered to her husband, trying to explain their middle daughter's behavior. Bella was their youngest and Alice was their oldest in both of their minds.

"I know," Carlisle stated exhaustedly –not that vampires ever really got exhausted. So many times had he questioned his decision to change each one of those children that he changed himself. He even questioned his decision to change Esme but his wife had long ago put to rest any fears he had of her resenting him. He knew that Rosalie loved him as any daughter might love her father but he also feared that she saw him, sometimes, as nothing more than the one that took away each dream, each hope she ever had. Of course, it had been that vile fiancé that had taken all from Rosalie. If he had left her as she was, she would not have been with the family for so many years and given them so much love and her fierce protection.

"I shouldn't have bought that jar," Carlisle told Esme, his voice filled with anguish. Although he was not Alice's creator, he was very much her father. To see his daughter lying upon that bed with only unknowns surrounding her condition was more anguishing than anything else that Carlisle could dream up.

"You didn't know. None of us could have!" Esme said in comfort to her husband. "Even Alice didn't see it," she told him, brushing back his hair. At that, Esme remembered the queer look up on her daughter's face as she descended down the stairs. Rather than the happy little sprite that Esme knew and loved dearly, Alice looked confused and perplexed. Has she seen what would happen? If so, then why did she drink? Did she know what she would turn into? Back into?

Edward slipped past his parents again to fill a glass of water. Bella explained that she remembered water through the filter on the refrigerator tasted better than water strictly from the faucet. He would never want anything but the best for his sister who was lying upstairs in their father's study. He had taken to helping his father tend to Alice as much as possible. Bella helped out and had been staying at the house rather than returning to her house in the woods as well. Considering that no one knew what was happening precisely, they were all worried and trying their best.

Making sure to add three ice cubes to the water bottle he found, he only hoped some part of his sister might be able to instinctually grasp the straw and drink that way. If she did not wake in another day, Carlisle would have to place an IV in her. After that, it would be a feeding tube. Either would be disastrous in a house of vampires, particularly when Jasper refused to leave Alice's side. Edward had seen how black Jasper's eyes were starting to get and how he no longer breathed. Despite the pain, Jasper refused to leave and Edward knew well why. It was the same reason Edward could not leave Bella if it was her lying upon the bed ill. It didn't matter that Bella was his singer when she had been human, the smell of her blood meant nothing to him after that terrible incident where he thought she had died. The thought of loosing her…it was still too painful to even think about. Bella was fine. She was just downstairs with their daughter, Jacob, and Rose. She would be upstairs soon enough to check on Alice for the tenth time today.

Taking the water bottle up this time, Edward took each step measuredly. He knew already that Jasper had heard him and knew who it was. In Jasper's thoughts, he already welcomed his brother. Edward was one of the few he felt no anger toward. "Any change?" Edward asked hopefully as he brought the bottle over to his sister's lips. He had brought glasses of water before but they were messy when Alice accidentally took too much in her half conscious state. She would spit it back out and her shirt would get wet. This might be more effective as a delivery means.

Jasper shook his head, not looking up from the face of his beloved wife. She was still pale but her cheeks were pink with fresh blood flow. Her skin no longer glistened because of the sun but because of the small beads of sweat that lay across her forehead. Her black spiky hair was slicked back with that same sweat and she would mumble in her current state, begging for something that no one could make out. Edward checked in her mind to see if he could see what his sister desired but all he saw was blackness and heard the sounds of screams in the distance. It was a memory that Edward knew well from his sister's head and he didn't want to dwell on it…or for her to dwell on it either.

Slipping the straw between Alice's pink, slightly chapped lips, Edward moved to cradle his sister's head so she could drink from it. It was effortless for him to do so and he did so gladly. He would do anything for the sister that provided him with so much sunlight even in the dreariest of days.

"Thank you," Jasper whispered towards Edward, his voice hoarse since he had not used it much in the past few days and given his currently emotional state. Jasper was trying to keep his emotional turmoil to himself but it was getting harder with each passing minute.

Edward looked up and nodded, still cradling his sister as one might a newborn baby, allowing her to drink down the water he provided her. Watching as the strange little pixie sucked down the contents of the bottle, he noticed her lips. Edward grimaced slightly. Chapped lips were known to break, to bleed. That wouldn't be very good. "I'll see if Alice has any chapstick in her vanity,' Edward told Jasper, remembering all the make-up she had for last year before Bella was turned. He then remembered that Jasper had not left Alice's side –at all- and had been gruff with Rosalie earlier when she offered to help change Alice into a different set of clothes. Jasper stated he didn't want anyone going through Alice's things. "If that would be alright?" Edward added.

Jasper looked up wearily to Edward and gave the slightest hint of a smile. Jasper knew, from the feelings coming off of Edward, it was only for Alice's own safety that Edward wanted to go through Alice's things. His only concern was the same as Jasper's, that of Alice's health. It had been different with Rosalie. Although some part of his blond "twin" wanted to help Alice, she was also jealous of her. How could anyone be jealous of the state his wife currently lay was beyond Jasper's understanding. He told Rosalie that, as long as Alice was still ill, there was little reason to change her and to leave. "That would be fine," Jasper told his brother aloud. Edward nodded back. He'd go and check the many bags of cosmetics Alice had for when she wanted to play beautician with Bella last year. Surely there would be some beeswax or whatever they use now for his sister's lips so they wouldn't bleed. If not, Edward would simply take Bella to the store so she could inform him of what to get. Alice would be taken care of.

A few hours and a stick of chapstick later, artfully applied by Bella, Carlisle came in to check up on his eldest daughter. Jasper knew the routine that Carlisle would go though. He would check her vitals, her temperature, kiss his daughter upon her forehead, and clap his son upon the back, telling Jasper that if he needed anything, to call upon him. The only thing that deviated from this every three hour routine, this time, was Alice.

Carlisle had gone to take his daughter's temperature when Alice's eyes opened. She blinked five times, showing her pretty gray eyes to both her father and her husband. Neither had known what color her eyes were when she was human because Alice had not known. Jasper thought they were the most beautiful things in the world. "Alice?" Carlisle asked his daughter, grabbing for his pin light.

Alice sat up and then jumped back slightly, hugging her knees upon seeing the two blond men looking at her. Where was she? What was she doing here? Where was everyone? A mix of images played in Alice's head as yet a third and fourth individual entered the room. Was the caramel haired woman a nurse? No. The second Alice thought up the question she answered it with one word. Mom. The caramel haired woman was her mother. But that wasn't possible. Mary Alice's mother gave her up. She didn't want her anymore but at the same time, Alice knew that was her mother, just not the same mother as the one had given birth to her.

"Yes, Esme is our mother," the bronze haired boy answered. Edward. Alice knew that name. Esme, the one he called our mother, clasped her hands over her heart and looked as if she could burst of joy. Turning to the blond boy now; Jasper. He was her husband. But how was that possible? Those from the asylum couldn't get married. They made sure you weren't fit for marriage once you left the asylum. They took away any chance you had at having babies. The bronze haired boy's eyes narrowed and then, Alice remembered.

She gasped. Everything over the past nearly hundred years came back to her in a rush. She remembered! She remembered! She remembered her house in Mobile and she remembered when her brother, Emmett, thought it would be funny for them to move to a "small town in Maine". She remembered her sister Cynthia and she remembered when Edward would tease her by changing his mind thirty different times so Alice could never get a handle on what he was to do next. She remembered her birth parents and her adoptive ones. She remembered her creator and her lover. She remembered it all, or, rather as much as her now human brain could handle.

"Alice?" Carlisle asked again, checking her eyes and her pulse at the same time. Her pupils reacted correctly for any human and her pulse was fast but normal.

Turning to the blond haired doctor –correction- her father, Alice looked up at him with big gray eyes and asked, "How long was I out?"

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**Author's Note:** I suppose this chapter could best be summed up as "sad panda". Cute but sad at the same time. I wanted to show how the familial relationships interacted with one another. There will be more of Emmett, Bella, and Rosalie later on, I promise. I'm just trying to set the stage before I get to the fun stuff.


End file.
